Darling Ava

This little girl has brought so much joy to our world. I have always wanted a girl so, of course I'm loving it, but that's not just it. She is just so precious, and sweet. Braxton absolutely adores his little sister and Brian admitted, sweetly, how much he loved having a little girl since he was nervous before she was born. It's still funny sometimes thinking of Brian with a little girl but it's the cutest thing. 

We got pretty lucky with the whole "trying for a second baby" thing because after a month I was pregnant. I sometimes feel bad for saying that because I know so many people have the hardest time with getting pregnant and I couldn't imagine that struggle. I had the WORST nausea. Screw morning sickness because I had all day, all night sickness. I survived on baked potatoes and white rice. It was so different than with Braxton so I had everyone telling me it was going to be a girl. Once I found out at 16/17 weeks that she was actually a SHE I went crazy with the girl clothes. Finally I could shop in a bigger section since boy clothes are so limited. 

I had a relatively "easy" pregnancy with Ava up until I was 31 weeks. I had been measuring big for awhile and we all chalked it up to it being my second pregnancy but that wasn't the case actually. I had a regular check up one day and while my doctor was measuring my belly (which was measuring at 34 weeks!) she felt around my belly and said she felt some extra fluid so she ordered an ultrasound for that day. Brian, Braxton, and I went for some lunch and then came back so we could see the babe. It was so sweet to see her, especially in 4-D. Once the ultrasound was done my doctor told me that I did have extra fluid, which is called polyhydramnios, and that I needed to meet with a high risk OB in the next week or so. She also told me that I more than likely would not be getting my all natural, birthing center birth that I wanted and had planned. I was shocked, and scared, because I had no clue what was going on. Of course I googled it which IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA. It had me even more scared that something was going to be wrong with my baby. I didn't say much online because I didn't want people to know. I don't mean it the way that it sounds though. I didn't want people to know so they wouldn't worry and so they wouldn't worry me with loads of questions. I will share my high risk pregnancy story, as well as my birth story at a different time. It totally needs it's own post haha While I was googling polyhydramnios when I was pregnant I rarely saw something where everything was okay so I think it's important to show that it's not always a bad outcome. 

Ava Madison was born on June 5, 2013 at 8:18 pm by a c-section thanks to her turning breach the day of delivery. The doctor said "oh, big baby" but I didn't get to see her for at least 15-20 minutes after that. While I was getting stitched back up Brian got to see her and he showed me her picture…she looked exactly like a mini Braxton. Luckily she was completely healthy, the extra fluid didn't have anything to do with her health thankfully. She was 7 lbs 10 oz and 21" long with a head full of dark hair. Through all the issues I had while pregnant and my complicated delivery, she has been an almost perfectly easy baby. Don't get me wrong, we have had some issues thanks to a growth spurt or something but she has truly been easy. Maybe it's because I'm a second time parent but I didn't feel the crazy stress like the first time. She slept through the night, breastfeeding wasn't painful, and she was just content with being held. When we brought her home Braxton was the sweetest with her. The look on his face was so cute, he looked so interested, and he always wanted to hold her. You could tell that he just loved her. They still look at each other with amazement and every time I catch it my heart fills up. I really can't wait to tell them, when they're older and fighting like siblings do, about how much they loved each other when they were little. 

I'm not saying that having two kids has been easy. There have been days where I think I'm losing my mind but I'm pretty sure that's common. Getting out of the house with two can be really difficult and being on time doesn't happen as much as I would like. Balancing two has been the hard thing for me. I remember in the beginning when I would be nursing Ava, Braxton would come up and want to sit on my lap or he would come up and ask for juice. I didn't want him to think that he wasn't important but I was also trying to keep a latch with a baby that was a lazy nurser. The first couple of months I had guilt that I wasn't giving them equal amounts of my time, and I still try to make a conscious effort in making things equal. I don't want either one of them to feel less important than the other. We never really put Ava on a schedule, we just went by her cues and I think that helped make things less stressful.

With Ava I have relaxed so much more than how I was with Braxton. I have a stronger "mommy voice" than the first time and I feel like I know way more than before. I'm sure everyone has seen the Luvs commercials about the difference between the first and second baby and that's totally my life haha. Right now we are going in between a mixture of purees and baby led weaning. Before I would have never thought about giving a baby chunks of my food but now I know that it's totally okay and I love the idea of BLW. Ava loves both so I give her a puree at dinner and then a little bit of whatever we're eating. She has currently mastered the army crawl and can go from one spot of the room to the other in no time. The house is no longer safe again! We're working on the full on hands and knees crawl but she's getting there. Sometimes I hate sharing "milestones" on social media because I don't want people to think that I'm bragging...I'm not! We all know someone who goes on and on about how much their kid weighs and that they are doing SO many things. Every month on the 5th I will take a picture of her on the same background (aka my big white comforter) just so I can see how much she grows. It's crazy to see how much she has changed and I'm excited to look back on those pictures when she turns one....oh gosh, ONE!

I want the same things for Ava as I do for Braxton. Basically, like any parent, I just want her to be happy and healthy. Hopefully she will be well rounded and polite. I want her to know that she can do anything just as long as she sets her mind to it. I want her to know that being smart is more important than being beautiful..but who am I kidding, she will always be beautiful to me. I don't want her to think she's not good enough and I never want her to hate the way she looks. As girls it's hard, especially growing up now a days. She should know that I will always be there for her and she can come to me with anything. I want to be the mom who she can trust. I want to be the mom who she can look up to. I want her to see that her parents truly do love each other and that that is the norm. I just want to raise her with a good head on her shoulders so she knows that there's so much more in the world for her to see. I want both of my children to know that there's life outside of their little city and it's okay to go and explore.