Potty training with speech delay

I can't tell you how many times I googled that. "Potty training with speech delay" doesn't come up with much except other parents asking how to do it. Why? Maybe it's because speech delay is so different with every kid, not every kid's speech delay is like the other. Or maybe it's because potty training in itself is difficult, let alone adding the fact that the child has a speech delay. I didn't know where to start, or what to do, so I just kind of winged it.

I won't lie, potty training Braxton made me nervous. We tried when he was almost two because he was kind of showing signs of readiness. I bought him a singing potty that he seemed to enjoy which was pretty cute. He got the idea of it but, because of the speech delay, we didn't stick with it. I remember asking Brian "How are we going to know if he needs to go if he can't even tell us?" We pushed it aside and stuck with the diapers because we thought that he would definitely be talking any day but we were wrong. As I've mentioned before, Braxton's speech delay is pretty intense, and we're still dealing with it.

This past December, right before his third birthday, we decided it was officially time. When we ran out of diapers we didn't buy anymore, but bought a small pack of Pull Ups instead. The singing potty came out again, but this time it stayed in the living room. I figured if he couldn't tell us he had to go, at least have it close by. Where he took to it great the first time- the year before- I thought it would be the same but it wasn't. He hated the idea of it. Of course he would!

There were tons of leftover Halloween candy in the pantry so I decided that we would do a little bribing. Yes, I'm not above bribing in certain circumstances. Braxton doesn't get lots of candy at all so I figured it could be a good idea. I put all the candy into a little paper bag where he knew it was specifically for him, when he went to the potty. At first I would give him a single M&M for even sitting on it, since that was an issue. He started to warm up to it after that but still wasn't a fan. I still let him have the Pull Ups on, to avoid a mess, but looking back that could have been what was hindering him. I mean Pull Ups technically feel like a diaper still....I went out to Walmart and bought him two packs of Fruit of the Loom undies, which were the cheapest. It took him a few days to get used to them, and I'm pretty sure I had to change more pee undies than I ever imagined, but slowly but surely the Pull Ups were moved to only night time wear or school.

I swear he's not pouting, I just caught a silly face. He still uses the singing potty in his room.

Where he's in nursery school two days a week and he had a birthday party planned at a gymnastics place, I told Brian that I wanted to wait until Christmas break to officially potty train. The whole two weeks was spent with Braxton naked and with me having a mop on hand for accidents. I sat him on that potty every ten minutes it seemed. When he finally would go, I made a huge deal out of it by saying "Yay! Way to go Braxton!! You went potty!" and then I would let him pick any piece of candy he wanted - once again, the joy of mini Halloween candy. (Seriously, try potty training after Halloween, it's perfect haha) We had fewer accidents but he still wasn't too into it. I was racking my brain, and trying to think of what else I could do, when I typed in "potty training" into the app search. Potty Time with Elmo was the first thing that popped up so I paid for the app and gave it a shot. It's interactive so the kids can play as they go, and it teaches all the basics with songs. All the songs are pretty ridiculous but trust me, you start singing them after awhile. (Keep Clorox wipes on hand for this, trust me!)

With Braxton's speech delay he still completely understands what we say, and he catches on to things pretty quickly, which I'm thankful for. Once we started using that app, he thought it was more fun, and I also started using less candy. I would watch him, without bothering him, and see what his cues were...like how long it would take after he drank something until he had to go for instance. Since there was no school, and it was cold/snowy outside, we didn't really go anywhere for those two weeks and it was perfect because all we had to do was work on potty training. After a week of all day success, I bought some GoodNites bed liners and we attempted him sleeping with just undies, no more Pull Ups. I set up his potty in his room, along with a night light. Before he fell asleep I had him practice pulling down his undies and sitting on the potty about ten times haha A few hours later, when I was going to sleep, I went in there and woke him up to go potty. He was so drowsy but I finally had him sit down. Half asleep, with his head still down, he whispered "all done" so sweetly. Brian still laughs at that. I'm proud to say that we haven't had a night time accident yet. (Key word yet but still, that's huge.)

We ended up leaving the singing potty up in his room for nights and we bought a little potty seat to go on top of our toilet downstairs for the day. It was under $15 at Target, and blue, so he loved it. Taking him out for the first time, without those, were a little rough. I would sit him on the regular sized toilets and he would just freak. I mean they're massive compared to a little three year old so I didn't blame him. I asked on Facebook for opinions and I was told to pick up a travel potty seat, which had helped a couple other moms. I ended up just working a little bit more with him so we didn't need it but I wanted to point that out for others. I didn't even know that they made those things!

As for accidents, we actually have only had one so far, and it was totally my fault. We went out to breakfast, he had chocolate milk, and without planning it we stopped by a place in town that has an open bounce house for kids. We were all in the moment and right before he went into one of the bounce houses I saw it happen. Then I realized I forgot to ask him if he had to go potty before! Ooops. Besides that, everything has gone great. Even our road trip that was 1,300 miles, one way, went great. Sure, we had to stop more times for potty breaks, just to be safe, but he did well.

We're still working on him actually telling us that he has to go...right now he just pulls down his pants so we obviously know he has to go. The thing with that though is that we immediately take him, so he doesn't technically need to TELL us. That's something I'm just noticing so hopefully it will change soon. He can say "pee" and "poop" (sorry if you hate those words, it happens though) so he knows what he's doing. We avoid any accidents, or him trying to pull down his pants, in public by just asking him every so often if he needs to potty. If we're close by a bathroom I will just take him in anyways. We no longer use the Elmo app OR candy which is nice considering it's only been 3 months since he's been potty trained.

My advice for anyone trying to potty train a speech delayed child is have patience. I thought it would never happen after I had to wash so so many pairs of undies he had peed through, or the time he had peed on the rug...for the third time. Remember that they don't mean to have those accidents so you shouldn't freak out when they happen. Anytime it happened I just took a breath and then I would calmly tell Braxton "Oh no, you have to go sit on the potty when you have to pee" and then I would show him the wet undies before putting a clean pair on him. It's a process! Speak clearly and get down on their level so they completely understand. Praise them when they do a good job. Braxton would get so proud of himself after he went because I showed him how excited I was. If you're fine with a little bit of candy, do it. A little goes a long way, especially for a kid that doesn't get it often. Make sure you always, always, always have a change of clothes with you just in case. We now keep a spare pair of undies and pants in the Jeep after that accident at the bounce house place.

What helped us: bribing candy (don't judge), Graco potty seat, GoodNites bed mats, cheap Fruit of the Loom undies, and Potty Time with Elmo. 

I know that it could have been more difficult, we actually got pretty lucky with potty training Braxton, but maybe here's a story of hope...it doesn't have to be hard! When you know your child, you can see their cues so just watch for them. Good luck! I'm always open to other moms who have questions about speech delay as well.