Having a three year old has to be the most fun. Braxton is
the sweetest little boy who is also the busiest boy I have ever met, seriously.
The best and most simple way to explain him is this…”go, go, go.” He has always
been somewhat of a challenge, especially when he was a baby, but I’m really
enjoying him at this age now. With a speech delay, however, it’s
frustrating…not only for him but for the whole family because of course we want
to be able to communicate. At the age of three a child should be forming sentences and they should have 300-500 words they can put to use. My son can’t say anything more than a 2-word sentence, which
we’re still working on, and he only has about 20 words that are significant
where we know what they are. Sure, he has his own language, and he is a pro
with that but getting him to really talk has been so much harder than I ever
imagined.
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| Braxton, at 18 months, right as he went into speech therapy. |
As time went on, we saw a little progress, but nothing like
I had expected. At two years old he still wasn’t having the conversations my
other friends talked about having with their little ones. I started
to kind of detach myself from things like that because in all honesty, it was
hard reading at times. I didn’t want to compare my child to theirs, it wasn’t
fair to Braxton and it wasn’t fair to myself. I still have those days though,
and I think it’s normal. In May of last year we upped the speech sessions to
two times a week, and he didn’t qualify anymore for the other therapist because
he had made some progress with her. In July we ended up switching therapists
because we felt his other therapist just wasn’t doing the best she could with
him. I felt like he got too comfortable with her and maybe she was a little too
comfortable with him because there wasn’t much “teaching” going on. We were
told that it happens, and it might be good to mix things up for him. I learned
that I needed to set aside my feelings of makings things awkward and just go
for it, for Braxton’s own good. It was hard to make the choice because she had
been in our life for over a year but it was needed for his progress…and I’m
happy to say that he has made quite a bit of progress since then!
In September he started nursery school two times a week. It
was the first time he had ever been away from me but we thought it would be
perfect for him…turns out we were right. He loves it there! I think it was at
his 2-½ year check up when I asked his pediatrician about autism. I was so
scared to even say the word but he said he was confident that he didn’t see
that in him. Even his new speech therapist said that, and she works with plenty
of autistic children. Around that time I was told that we should look into getting
a hearing test done. How did I never think of that before?! I immediately
called and got a referral to an audiologist. At that appointment we were told
that Braxton had major fluid in his ears and that he had a moderate hearing loss…basically
he could hear like someone who’s under water. I instantly starting asking
myself if this is why he’s not talking…has he been unable to hear us well all this time? It was
frustrating that he still had fluid build up because he had been having ear
troubles for over a month by then, and was on antibiotics to treat the
reoccurring ear infection. The only reason we found out about the initial ear
infection the previous month was at a check up so I wondered if he had been having ear troubles long before that. I’m not the kind of mom who takes him in for every little fever but
maybe I should have. I mean of course he couldn’t technically tell me that his
ears were hurting him…what if he has had all this fluid for awhile now and I
just didn’t know. If you can’t tell, I still feel guilty about that.
To make matters even more frustrating, when we went to a
local ENT in November after the hearing test, he confirmed the fluid but said
he wouldn’t do anything to Braxton except “prolonged antibiotics” which I
adamantly disagreed with. He had already been on antibiotics and they did
nothing, I’m not going to subject him to something like that for just no
reason…antibiotics will do nothing for fluid, only an infection which he
didn’t have at that time. The doctor didn’t feel comfortable doing tubes on
Braxton because of a medical condition…he just should have said that instead
and saved us time and our $25 co-pay. After that fiasco we were referred to
Upstate Hospital's ENT where they are incredible but also incredibly busy. We had been
wait listed since the beginning of December until one of our other doctors in the same hospital found a loop hole and squeezed us in there, 2 months ahead of when he would
have been seen. That appointment was just this past Friday, Valentine’s Day.
They attempted the hearing test again but could only get so far because yes, he
still has the fluid build up. After that they said he was a good candidate for
tubes so we’re going to go ahead and do it. Unfortunately we still have to play
the waiting game, it’ll be another couple of months since it’s an elective
surgery, but it’s something! I’m so interested to see if progress is made after
this surgery.
In regards to speech delay I have so much advice for others
but the first, and most important thing, is it can’t hurt to ask. Just bring it
up to your pediatrician because there are so many resources that can help you.
It’s never too early either. I wish I thought about doing a hearing test ages
ago, Braxton might have been talking by now. As a mom it’s hard to see your
child behind, in any way, but I just keep reminding myself that I have to be optimistic. Sure, there are bad days, but those pass. You have to stay positive when it comes to your children because
you’re their biggest advocate. Don’t take no for an answer unless you’re sure
about it. Read up on things and trust your gut because you know them
better than anyone else. If your child is already in speech therapy make sure
you know what they’re currently working on so you can practice the same stuff
at home when the therapist isn't there. I point out everything to Braxton and I pronounce the words all
dramatic so it gives him a chance to see it and hear it. Don't be so hard on yourself either, that's a big one for me especially because I'm a stay at home mom. I used to think I was the reason he was behind, like I didn't do enough, but I know that's not the case.
I’m always open to talking to other moms who are dealing
with the same thing because it’s not something that’s talked about often. I
want to extend the opportunity to share ideas and stories for other moms to
know that there’s never the perfect answer to this struggle but instead there
are a million different ones. Every child is different but this journey of
being a parent dealing with speech delay is similar so I would love to connect
with anyone going through it. Even if it’s just a “hey, I feel ya” type of
thing or more, I’m all for it.
-UPDATE-
March 28, 2014
Braxton now has his appointment set for the tubes! May 7th is the day and the only thing I can think of is how much I hope that these make a difference. If you can keep us in your thoughts that would be amazing. Wish us luck!
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