Miss Ava Madison is one today! It's so bittersweet because I'm excited for this new adventure of toddler-hood with her but I sure will miss my little baby girl. She was born June 5th 2013 at 8:18 pm after a very long, and pretty painful pregnancy due to polyhydramnios. I was so scared that something was going to be wrong with her, or there would be complications, but we got lucky. The only major thing that happened was the day she was born, she turned breech. I literally felt her turning but wasn't sure what it was until the doctor told me. My planned, natural birth then turned into a c-section.
We waited all day on the 5th to have her since I had eaten breakfast about 30 minutes before we found out she was breech, and the anesthesiologist wouldn't give the go ahead because of that. I was so anxious the entire day for a million different reasons. I had never had any type of surgery before, and a c-section is a pretty big deal. Having to wait all day in a hospital room didn't help either. Once it was finally time I remember all my nerves getting to me. They brought me back into the OR without Brian and prepped me…my teeth were chattering because I was so scared and then I started to cry a little. I'm telling you, so many nerves hit me at once. When Brian finally came in, it helped so much, because he is definitely my rock.
As soon as she was out, the doctor said "Ohh big baby!" and then they moved her to a little station to clean her off, and check her vitals. I wanted so badly to see her but because of the fluid I knew they needed to make sure everything was okay with her first. Brian went over to see her, and he brought back a picture he took with his phone and the first thing I said was "oh my gosh, she's Braxton's twin" I finally got to see her after I was stitched up, and it felt amazing to finally do skin to skin with her. She weighed 7 lbs 10 oz and was 20 1/2" long and had a head full of dark hair.
Brian and I had a hard time agreeing on names for her…everything I mentioned, he shut down but finally we settled on Ava Madison. She was everything I could have wanted, and I felt so happy anytime I even looked at her. With Braxton, I had a little bit of a rough time afterwards and there were definitely some postpartum blues but this time was different. I think I felt so comfortable as a mother, and even just as a person, that I didn't let anything affect me. All I wanted for me and her was bonding time and I got that.
The first time Braxton met his little sister it wasn't quite "picture perfect" but it was, because that picture is perfect in a funny way. He actually was very interested in her, and instantly wanted to hold her, but as soon as we said "picture" he covered his face and that was that. Our hospital stay was the first time I had been away from him overnight, let alone multiple nights, so he was all sorts of confused. Before Ava was born, I was feeling a little guilty that he was about to lose the title of "only child" and I was really sentimental right before…he got SO many snuggles. As soon as I saw them together though, I genuinely felt complete and I haven't felt guilty once.
The day we brought Ava home felt amazing. I was so ready to start our lives as a family of four. This time I was confident, I knew more of what to expect. I knew what late nights with a newborn felt like, I knew what hungry cues were and I knew that I was fully capable of breastfeeding. I second guessed myself less, which was a big deal. Having Ava in our lives really has been amazing. She fits so perfectly into our family. She's the little girl I have always wanted, and as cheesy as it sounds, I'm lucky to be her mom.
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| Custom onesie: Monogramming Mayhem Headband: c/o London Raquel |
So happy birthday my sweet little girl. I'll love you forever.
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